I confess. The more I try to understand what is happening in the Middle East, the more I wish I never started digging. It makes my head, heart and soul ache.

I'll be the first to admit that I am something of an idealist. I'm far from perfect, but I try to aim high in everything I do; even when you don't succeed it seems to make for better caliber mistakes... that, and you don't ever really lose sight of what you are trying to accomplish in the first place.

Making your ideals work in reality requires a certain amount of faith; I referred to it above when I talked about not losing sight of what you are trying to accomplish.

...but where is that line in the sand where faith becomes naivety?

I had a hard time discerning that line this evening as I dug through the dusty corners of the internet seeking full disclosure about a story I had recently read concerning liberal activists donating money to Fallujah.

My virtual reconnaissance led me to as good a starting place as any to begin this debriefing... Lance Corporal Jesus A. Suarez del Solar.

LCPL del Solar was killed on March 27, 2003, one of the first casualties in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

From the Camp Pendleton Scout:

Mexico native posthumously awarded citizenship
Lance Cpl. Matthew S. Richards, News Editor

CAMP PENDLETON -A native of Mexico who migrated with his family to the U.S. for the chance to become an "Aztec Warrior" Marine was remembered today at Camp Pendleton's Marine Memorial Chapel by over 100 mourners.

Jesus A. Suarez del Solar. 20. an infantry rifleman assigned to D Company. 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion. 1st Marine Division. was killed in action March 30 in Iraq while fulfilling his dream to be a warrior.

"He was proud to be a Marine, but he wanted to be remembered as an Aztec Warrior Marine." Fernando Suarez del Solar, his father. "Upon graduating bootcamp he went to Tijuana and bought a small shrine of an Aztec warrior and said 'father this is me.."'

Suarez del Solar entered the Marine Corps in July of 2001. That was his dream, according to his father.

"The only reason we came over was because of him. It started at the age of 10. He had everything he wanted down there except the option of being a Marine." said his father.

In a mostly silent crowd. a small child's wails gave voice to the soft tears that streaked the faces of many mourners. Suarez del Solar made an impact on his fellow Marines as well.

"Even though he was young, he had what I called an old soul." said Sgt. Troy D. Dearson, Suarez del Solals platoon sergeant with D Co., 1st LAR. "He was very mature for his age."

At the conclusion of the eulogies, the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services presented Suarez del Solals wife with a certificate authenticating his citizenship.

Suarez del Solar was not the first to receive such an honor, since President George W. Bush announced that anyone who serves in the military one day past Sept. 11, 2001 may be awarded his or her citizenship through an accelerated process.

(reprinted in its entirety only because it seems to be no longer accessible)

Since his son's death, Fernando Suarez del Solar has become a prominent touring spokesperson and activist for groups like Global Exchange and Code Pink. Because of this, most of the blogs and online newspapers that I found while seeking information on this story were clearly partisan; some even came with advice on how to effectively protest the war in Iraq.

As I recount this tale (which does end in Fallujah, I assure you) I will of course select the bits and pieces that strike me as the most likely and believable.

"In late March, two Marine officers arrived at the Suarez home. Their son had died on the battlefield of a gunshot wound to the head, the officers told the Suarezes. Later, a newspaper reporter called to say Jesus had been killed by "friendly fire." A television reporter called with a third story."

-- Santa Cruz Sentinel

"Suarez said ABC officials contacted him, told him they had information regarding his son's death and paid for his flight to Iraq, where they would tell him what happened to his son. ABC correspondent Bob Woodruff, who was embedded with Suarez's son's unit, had video footage of Jesus in Iraq a week before he died. In a video shown at the presentation, Woodruff revealed from his notes that his son died from a U.S. artillery shell."

-- Western Front Online

I have not found that particular description, "told him that they had information regarding his son's death and paid for his flight to Iraq, where they would tell him what happened to his son" anywhere else, but I certainly don't like the way it was phrased. It does seem that this "video presentation" by Bob Woodruff of ABC has been shown a number of times in a number of locations. I don't like the manipulative overtones I see here.

"Bob Woodruff was with Jesus when the boy died. He says Jesus was killed a day after a military unit sprinkled cluster bombs in an area the Marines were to patrol..." "...The military unit laying the bombs didn't mention their work to the Marines. Jesus, acting as Scout, trampled one of these bombs. He was badly, but not mortally, injured although he was bleeding heavily from a head wound. Several attempts were made to call in a medievac helicopter but the Marines' radio malfunctioned. The helicopter arrived two hours after the explosion and Jesus died in the helicopter on his way to medical care."

-- Mothers Speak

I'm not sure that Bob Woodruff was actually with LCPL de Solar when he died, or if the Cluster Bombs were added to the story later. As you saw above, the Western Front article has him citing an artillery shell.

Here is another:

A USA Today study has found that the U.S. dropped or fired nearly 11,000 cluster bombs or cluster weapons on Iraq during the invasion and Britain dropped 2,000 more. It is unknown how many Iraqis died from cluster bombs. One estimate puts the total at 370. And the attacks left behind thousands of unexploded bomblets. At least eight U.S. soldiers and an unknown number of Iraqis have been killed by unexploded bomblets.

USA Today reports that one of the soldiers killed may have been Lance Cpl. Jesus Suarez del Solar. He died March 27 after stepping on some type of unexploded ordnance while on reconnaissance patrol outside Baghdad. He was 20 years old. A Marine investigation concluded that the "origin of the ordnance is unknown and really impossible to determine."

But the dead Marine's father, Fernando Suarez del Solar has a different account. He says he was contacted by one of his son's friends, who said the Army dropped cluster weapons on March 26 and not all of the submunitions exploded. He is now seeking an official explanation for his son's death.

-- Democracy Now

What exactly is a Cluster Bomb, and why would we have been using them just outside of Bagdhad at that time?

"Cluster bombs were developed in order to improve the efficiency of aerial attacks, particularly against "soft" targets like personnel. Single bombs are less useful for this purpose because they cover a smaller area (known as a "footprint" in military parlance), and their effectiveness is dependent on the accuracy of the bomb's drop. A cluster bomb functions like a shotgun, covering a wider area with a spread of miniature bombs.

Cluster bomb technology was first used by Germany against the United Kingdom in the Second World War, and developed independently by America and Russia. Cluster bombs are now standard air-dropped munitions for most nations, in a wide variety of types.

Artillery shells that employ similar principles have existed for decades. They are typically referred to as ICM (Improved Conventional Munitions) shells. The US military slang terms for them are "firecracker" or "popcorn" shells, for the many small explosions they cause in the target area."

"Some recent weapons of this type include the U.S. CBU-97, employed in Serbia in 1999 and Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. Munitions specifically intended for anti-tank use may be set to self-destruct if they reach the ground without locating a target, theoretically reducing the risk of collateral damage to civilians and non-military targets."

-- Wikipedia

It appears to me, at least, that this could have been a likely scenario - especially if we were trying to ensure that the area in question was clear of armor or vehicles. Perhaps the Artillery Shell and Cluster Bomb comments all refer to the ICM shells referenced above.

I don't, however, react with the same kind of suspicion that Mr. Suarez del Solar does now, especially after visiting Iraq with Global Exchange and Code Pink.

"At the hospitals he saw youngsters dying from the lack of medicine and learned that a number of others had been killed picking up unexploded cluster bombs or when trying to hand them in to U.S. soldiers."

"The bombs look like tennis balls or beer cans, Suarez explains. And when the children try to give them to U.S. soldiers, they are shot on the spot -- military orders."

"They say Saddam had illegal weapons. Jesus died because of an illegal weapon. Cluster bombs are illegal under the Geneva Conventions."

"The Americans dropped about 20,000 cluster bombs. Only 20 percent exploded. My son didn't die in the front lines from enemy fire; he died because of the military's negligence."

-- Interpress Service News Agency

Looking into these accusations, I found the following comments issuing a persuasive rebuttal.

"Now as to the previous poster, he states that 'Only 20 percent (of cluster munitions) exploded.' I've researched it, and the military says 95% (minimum) reliability, the ICRC reports a 75% reliability in Kuwait and Kosovo. Strike one.

He then states that 'Cluster bombs are illegal under the Geneva Conventions.' No, under the Geneva Conventions they are prohibited if they cause incidental loss of civilian life or civilian injury that is excessive in relation to the anticipated direct military advantage of the attack. That's a judgment call, not a hard and fast rule of war. Strike two.

He finally states that 'when the children try to give them (unexploded ordnance) to U.S. soldiers, they are shot on the spot -- military orders.' Right. Soldiers are ordered to shoot children. No need for a strike three required if he expects us to swallow that bilge."

-- Kevin Baker commenting on Eject! Eject! Eject!

The only comment that I can add is that the area outside of the city where LCPL del Solar died was not a populated civilian area. I think that the Geneva Convention argument is pretty well closed, and I think that they were after straggler armor/vehicles from the day before.

His numbers are really off as well. Where is he getting a lot of his information from?

"He became an anti-war activist after his 20-year-old son died on March 27 when he stepped on an unexploded U.S. cluster bomblet south of Baghdad.

Suarez del Solar's efforts caught the attention of Medea Benjamin, director of the San Francisco group Global Exchange. Over the past two months, they've linked other parents and family members willing to travel to Iraq."

-- Veterans for Peace

There are other strong indications that Mr. Suarez del Solar has been swayed by the opinions of his new friends in the anti-war movement.

"Jesus Suarez Del Solar wanted to fight in Iraq to prevent an attack on the United States.

'He always told us that he would rather go over there so that those people don't come here and hurt us,' said his wife, Sayne Suarez."

-- Associated Press

That sounds like most of the military people that I know.

"When my son left on February 5, 2003, to go to Iraq, he said, 'I don't believe in this war, but I'm a Marine and I'm going to go do my job. I'm going to try to help the children there have a better life.'"

-- LA City Beat

That doesn't sound like anyone I know in the military at all, but it does sound like the MSM did here at home and just like his father does now. Perhaps my circles are limited, but most of the people I knew in the military had long felt that Iraq was a job left undone. The sanctions that were supposed to be temporary had lasted over a decade, and they weren't working. In fact, the sanctions had killed more innocent civilians than were lost in the war. We were eager to finish it.

"The military is supposed to respect life and serve the American Constitution. This war doesn't respect life or serve the Constitution. It serves only the people in power.

Hispanics have borne a high casualty burden in the war. What does race mean in this war, both fighting in it and against it?

The system abuses Hispanic young people. It recruits inside high schools in the communities with a large Hispanic population. You never see recruiting at Beverly Hills High School. The military says anybody who joins does so voluntarily. But the economic situation around these boys pushes them into joining the military."

-- LA City Beat

Now we have moved beyond what was originally a grieving father's difficulty in dealing with what he saw was the unjust death of his son... and has graduated to parroting the spoon-fed lines of the liberal left. What respect I did have for Mr Solar's grief is beginning to wane.

For the record, the public high school that I attended (Coral Gables Senior High) was an affluent one. We had a Lacrosse team, a Water Polo Team and Jazzercise classes. There were Porsches and BMW's in the student parking lot. James Michener taught a creative writing class there when I was a senior.

...and it was only through the steadfast persistence of the local Navy Recruiting office that I joined the military just before the Gulf War. I had never even considered the military as an option; just like Jesus, it sounded like a good deal.

Mr Suarez del Solar, I'd wager there are recruiters even in Beverly Hills. I'd also wager that what you call "an abusive system" is what most people in the military "being abused" would call an excellent opportunity.

Your own son thought so, a citizen of Mexico here on a green card with little wealth and dreams of becoming a DEA agent.

He was a Hero.

"Basic facts of Fernando Suarez del Solar: He immigrated his family to the United States 9 years ago when son Jesus was 14 years old from Tijuana (not as rumored for the sole purpose of Jesus joining the U.S. Marines). At 18, Jesus voluntarily joined the Marines. The Marines say he was a good Marine. He died in the Iraq invasion a Mexican citizen because father Fernando never secured citizenship for himself or his family..."

"...There is nothing in his background that demonstrates any knowledge of American foreign policy, or of the continuous war for freedom waged by Americans since 1776, or any American history. There is no proof he could even find Iraq on an unmarked map before his son was killed. There is no proof he vociferously objected to his son's enlistment in the Marines. Until his son became famous by death in Iraq, there is no proof Fernando ever made a public utterance on any socio-economic or political subject other than leaving Mexico for America.

There is plenty of proof, however, that Fernando has some media presence. On behalf of others he represents a point of view to the public with many adherents but little power. In fact, the hugely successful Iraq election cut much of the ground out from anti-Iraq war activists, as did President George W. Bush's reelection.

Despite these blows, Fernando finds reporters willing to publish his 'quest for peace' activities. There are no published words of his praising the Iraq people for standing up to terrorists and trooping to the polls to freely elect their own government (an experience Fernando has never had, not having ever voted in a free Mexican election). He offers no condemnatory words towards Muslim car-bombing terrorists who kill innocent women and children in Iraq. Such words would be counter to his 'handlers'' desire to vilify the Iraq war.

He mouths the words he is told to say. He says America has killed more people in Iraq than the recent tsunami did. He is told to ay these things, despite their not being true. He says them and he receives financial succor from these fanatics. They finance him because he is the father of an American Marine who died in the first few days of the war, not because he is brilliant or a fine orator.

There can be no mistake about it, Fernando Suarez del Solar is being used and manipulated - willingly-because he is an unsophisticated Mexican immigrant without a firm educational base. He won't stop it or stop taking the money.

I, like Fernando, grieve for his son, Jesus. And, I support 'Green Carder' Fernando's exercise of free speech which he never experienced before. However, he must recognize that his opinion is not his own, it comes from others, others who dishonor his son's life and death."

-- By CalNews.com's Raoul Lowery Contreras

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART TWO

More discussions on the war in Iraq, Weapons of Mass Destruction, and the efforts of Global Exchange and Code Pink to bring aid and comfort to the people of Fallujah.

If you don't keep your eye on the Department of State's website, perhaps you should!

On January 30, 2005, more than 8 million Iraqi people went to the polls in national elections, 18 provincial elections, and the Kurdistan regional government election.

Feb. 22 fact sheet: U.S. funding for Iraqi reconstruction in 2003 and 2004 included nearly half a billion dollars to support democracy-building programs in Iraq, including projects that specifically help women with democratic organization and advocacy.

Feb. 17 fact sheet: The U.S. and the European Union are committed to a federal, democratic, pluralistic, and unified Iraq. They cooperate closely on the full range of political, economic, development, and security issues affecting Iraq.

Feb. 1 and Feb. 8 fact sheets: The Iraqi people demonstrated their commitment to democracy during the January 30 elections, voting for a Transitional National Assembly, provincial councils, and a Kurdistan regional government. Iraqi officials organized the election and Iraqi security forces protected the polling places.

Feb. 3 fact sheet: The UN Oil-for-Food Program was implemented in December 1996 and ended in November 2003. The United States is committed to ensuring that the serious allegations of fraud, abuse, and corruption related to the program are investigated fully and transparently.

President Bush (Jan. 30): "The Iraqi people, themselves, made this election a resounding success.... This historic election begins the process of drafting and ratifying a new constitution, which will be the basis of a fully democratic Iraqi government.... We will continue training Iraqi security forces so this rising democracy can eventually take responsibility for its own security. There's more distance to travel on the road to democracy. Yet Iraqis are proving they're equal to the challenge." [more]

Secretary Rice (Jan. 30): "This is the start of a new day for Iraq. It's not perfect. There are parts of the country where people have been intimidated and where the violence is very high. ... [W]hat we are seeing is that Iraqis are voting in large numbers. I think everybody believes it's better than expected. There are parts of the country where we expected a low turnout, but this election is, of course, a first step; and what it really says is that the Iraqi people are not prepared to be fearful and intimidated and kept from their right to exercise their voice." [full text of Fox interview] Also see ABC, CBS, CNN interviews; remarks outside CBS studio; view photos.

Condi for President? We could do a lot worse. In a lot of ways, it would be hard to do better. There is a WND article that speaks of rumors around the beltway that Dick Cheney will step down for "health problems" next year and allow Condi to take the reigns as VP so we could have a more powerful incumbent in place to go up against what looks like Hillary Clinton in 2008. WND rumors are just that, but it's fun to entertain the thought, certainly!

She was Regan's advisor on the Soviet Union when he felled the mighty collosus, and now she is Secretary of State as the middle east starts coming together. If she can lend an experienced hand to bringing peace to Israel/Palestine, I think she could easily be the next President of the United States.

Hat Tip to Michelle Malkin and the Committee to Protect Bloggers for letting us know about Arash and Mojtaba, two Iranian Bloggers that have been jailed for the opinions they expressed on their weblogs. Arash is still in jail, Mojtaba spent the last three months in prison, and is still facing charges.

Februrary 22nd is Free Arash and Mojtaba day.

If all the governments in the world were accountable to the people they ruled, and everyone was free to say what they wished to say, do you think war would even be possible?

Certainly not as we know it.

I'm sure that the Manolo would agree. Super Fantastic Shoes for everyone!

Wendy made this for me... :)

small... trite... inadequate...

..it's ironic that after a dozen or so year-long minutes, these should happen to be the first words my fingers bring to life.

Wendy, trying to capture what I feel for you in the fragile shell of a simple word or phrase is an impossible task; the very idea of it alone seems uncontainable, let alone my actual feelings. Alas, the most vibrant and meaningful word is but a delicate thing that can only inspire sympathetic thought. This is the way of a word. In order for it to be understood by another, it must have already been experienced by another.

How do you explain a painting to the blind? A song to the deaf? I look in the world about us and I see so many people struggling from day to dreary day without a sliver of what we share together. The pantomime love affairs on television are merely lessons on lowering your expectations.

Real Love is the way it feels when you are pressed up against me, surprising me with a hug as I feverishly work on some small bit of code...

It is in the way that you grin when I start improvising lyrics to a song that I don't know the words to...

It is in the radiant glow you wear when we wake up every morning, though you are terribly insistent about how horrible you look.

Real Love is in the way I beam when I watch you cut bits of paper and fabric with your "special scissors", or the way I smile from the other room as I hear you pounding decorative rivets into a Christmas Card.

It is in the way I can almost make you laugh on cue with a well chosen parody or funny face...

It is in the way that we can simply sit and talk about nearly anything under the sun, unafraid of rejection or judgment from each other's eager ears.

Real Love is in the way that we inspire each other to be more than what we are alone. Just being with you makes me a better person.

It is in the way our hands unconsciously seek each other's out whenever we are within touching distance.

It is in the silly gold trinket that hangs around my neck, "ST ENDS".

Wendy, I adore you. I cherish you. I respect you. I love you. You are my best friend, my closest confidant, my most tender lover and joyously, my wife.

How can I possibly contain all that with nothing but words on a page?

Google has released its latest Beta Product, Google Maps.

Give it a look; even in its early form it is very easy to use, very fast.

Google Maps is an online service that allows users in the U.S. to find location information, navigate through maps, and get directions quickly and easily. Google Maps has several unique features:

Draggable maps – you can click and drag Google maps to view adjacent sections; no more long waits while new areas download.

Integrated Local search results – Google Maps integrates local search results from Google Local. So to find a pizza place, simply type in "pizza in San Jose", and pizza places appear at various locations on your map, with phone numbers for each location on the right side of the page.

Turn-by-turn directions – Type in an address and Google Maps plots the route for you, displaying it visually on the map itself, together with step-by-step directions for getting there (or back from there). When you click on one of these steps (say, "turn left"), you see a floating bubble with a magnified view of the area mentioned in the directions.

Keyboard shortcuts – You can use arrow keys to pan left, right, up and down. The Page Up, Page Down, Home and End keys let you pan out even wider. And you can zoom in with the plus (+) key and zoom out with the minus (-) key.

To learn more about these and other cool features, try the Google Maps tour.

Today Microsoft disclosed that it planned to acquire Sybian Software, adding a second anti-virus software company to its list of assets.

The New York Times reports:

Microsoft said on Tuesday that it planned to acquire Sybari Software, which makes programs aimed at protecting business computer networks from viruses, worms and other threats.

Terms of the deal were not disclosed. Sybari, which is privately held, had been scheduled to make an initial public offering this week. The offering, which has been called off, valued Sybari at up to $186 million.

In 2003, Microsoft acquired Romanian anti-virus firm GeCad, but has yet to release a commercial product based on it. Still, Microsoft has leveraged their technology into protecting their customers.

Markezich: For example, our acquisition of GeCAD helped us to deliver cleaner tools to help customers recover after the Blaster, MyDoom, Sasser and Download.Ject infections. It also helped us to provide the Microsoft Malicious Software Removal Tool to more than 133 million PCs.

8 months ago, Microsoft began testing the Sybian solutions internally. They were so impressed, they purchased the company.

PressPass: How did these factors lead you to Sybari?

Markezich: About a year ago we conducted a major analysis of leading gateway antivirus products. We set up a controlled lab environment that fully matched the Microsoft production environment in number of servers, simulated traffic and so on. We tested on the basis of both performance and functionality. Could a product maintain its virus-catching performance even under the most stressful loads? Could it perform under unexpected conditions, such as when a computer reboots because of maintenance updates? Did the solution support all the messaging encoding it was likely to encounter? Did it integrate natively with Exchange Server, eliminating the need for dedicated virus scanning computers?

Perhaps the key issue from a management perspective was, did the solution support multiple scanning engines? That's absolutely crucial because, if you depend on a single scanning engine and it misses the infection or is taken down by it, you're sunk. With multiple engines all working through a single scanning solution, you get faster response, more certain response, and more reliable operation during an actual threat.

PressPass: And how did Sybari measure up?

Markezich: On all of these measures, Sybari was far and away above anything else we looked at. We went into production with Sybari on our communication and collaboration environment in May 2004 and it immediately became an integral part of our messaging hygiene defense. We have better protection at lower cost than we had before. We strip harmful attachments without losing mail. We scan Zip files. We consolidated the number of our Internet gateways from 18 to 10 for a tremendous reduction in TCO. We have full protection even during peak traffic.

PressPass: Your bottom-line evaluation of Sybari?

Markezich: We haven't had a single e-mail related infection since adopting Sybari. Our vision for security in workplace collaboration is that it requires layered defenses, tight integration with the rest of the infrastructure, and protection from the latest threats. Sybari met our needs on all of these criteria.

AOL is nearly finished testing its VoIP service, already offered to consumers in Canada. Operating over Level 3 networks, it allows the Internet Divisino of Time Warner, inc. to take on recent VoIP success stories like Vonage, Lingo and Skype.

One source familiar with the company's plans says the targeted launch date is March 16. Another source, though he couldn't confirm the date, notes that there has been an upturn in softswitch deployment activity at AOL recently, which suggests AOL is very close to a launch.

AOL, naturally, is tight-lipped as to the specifics of its VOIP service. "We are currently in beta testing of a consumer VOIP offering," says AOL spokesperson Anne Benteley, who wouldn't confirm a launch date.

Take a look at AOL Canada's Total Talk

America Online, already the owner of the famous Netscape Browser, is also developing a new Internet Explorer based browser. The Beta product has now been released and is available for AOL and AIM users to trial.

AOL Browser takes many features from current browsers, but also includes some innovations of its own, such as "tear-off tabs." Tear-off tabs can be rearranged or pulled away from their original window and spun off into a new window. Additionally, AOL has added thumbnail preview images of Web pages that pop-up when the mouse cursor hovers over a tab, or the Back and Forward buttons.

Part of its "Power Browsing" feature, AOL includes added privacy options to remove any "footprints" left while browsing the Web, including cookies and cached files. Page zooming, high contrast viewing and enhanced information tools are also included in the Power Browsing menu.

AOL has not offered a final release timeframe for AOL Browser or Desktop Search. However, a company spokesperson told BetaNews last year, "This beta test is part of our continual efforts to test concepts and technologies."

Here are some product screenshots

You can download the Beta here

If you are not already familiar with Skype, the free Instant Messenger / Internet Telephony product that allows users to talk over the Internet for free... or to pay to use the additional Internet to Telephone add-on called Skype Out... This article would be a good place to begin.

Since its formation in 2003, London-headquartered Skype has recorded over 54 million downloads of its VoIP software.

The application is best known for its ability to let users within the Skype network make voice phone calls for free, and offers ruthlessly aggressive rates on calls from computers or handhelds to phone numbers across the world.

The service also offers presence awareness, instant messaging and file transfer. vnunet.com spoke with the company's 38 year-old chief executive and co-founder Niklas Zennstrom.

Aiming to take Google down a peg, Microsoft unveiled its new search engine today. It features natural search language, like "what is the capital of Peru" and also taps the power of the Encarta Encyclopedia. Additionally, it integrates music, news and image search features, as well as "Search Near Me"

Click here to learn more about the capabilities of the new search.msn.com

Click here to use search.msn.com